Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

2006-11-20T19:11:00.000-08:00

were does the road take us. That I don't know. In the end it doesn't all say happily ever after. I just want my ever after....

2006-11-19T16:57:00.000-08:00

Well the past and present swirls around as time marches on. Are you out there, please let me know. are you out there.

2006-11-09T18:07:00.000-08:00

My candle light grows dim and the darkness is yet to come. Sometimes we feed off the light others and never realize how dim their candle has grown. Then one day as a twinkle in the eye the light is gone. One candle can light the fire, but as in life that candle is often forgotten about. The fire burns....

Perhaps

2006-11-07T14:32:00.000-08:00

I found this song by Clay Aiken's. In a lot of ways it is how I feel, I wish I could just get this all out of my head but I can't.

I feel like I never measure up to who you see
Sometimes I think I can't give you all the love you need
You keep changing everyday
Amazing me in everyway.

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything I have

I never dreamed I could ever feel the way I do
I hope and pray I will always be enough for you
I can only do my best
I have to trust you with the rest

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything I have

I promise I will hold you through the changes and fears
When life seems unclear
And when I can't be right there with you
I know there's angels by your side

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything... I have

2006-11-02T12:30:00.001-08:00

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity". ~ Gilda Radner, 1946-1989

In the end the heart of the matter is a matter of the heart. Maybe I am a fool for beliving n fairy tales, the truth is that I refuse to give up. I wish that I could go back and try again. For a lot of things I am very sorry, I don't really know...

My Christmas wish is for one night to be taken out and treated like I was the most important person in the world. I usually never ask for anything but I think i really need this. I grow tired and weary.

To that someone special out there know that I do love you. And would do anything to make you happy. Please know that.

2006-11-02T12:30:00.000-08:00

2006-10-15T18:11:00.000-07:00

So here we are. Standing on the edge again, waiting, wanting someone to hold us from falling. But in Life i have come to accept that maybe a fall is what we need. I guess you never know if you can fly if you don't jump. I think at times we all come to the edge. In life our paths cross and then take off in different directions. I don't think I will ever get use to it. So here I stand on the edge....

2006-10-10T13:54:00.000-07:00

You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck!

Jalal-Uddin Rumi

So happy bday princess. I hope that it was a great one. Well things never stop getting interesting with me. Angels, Dragons and Memories from the past. The past has returned once again. My fairy tale story with all the actors in place.

At the end of the game, pawns and kings go back into the same box.

Italian Proverb

2006-10-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

Given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it...and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
--Erma Bombeck

Time is a funny thing and so is life, it seems that both are always short.

this is from princess

Time

2006-09-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

So it has been almost a month since my last update....More to come

2006-08-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

For some reason never heard this song, but i really like it. Hope this finds all well.

2006-08-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

Great Song!!!!!

I believe

2006-08-08T14:24:00.000-07:00

Since my last couple of post have been a little on the more serious side I thought i would share some cute sayings:

You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down." -Ray Bradbury

"There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by." -Annie Dillard

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

Once upon a time, something happened to me, it was the sweetest thing, that ever could be, it was a fantasy, a dream come true, it was the day I met you.

I smile b-cuz I have no idea what is going on

If I had a star for everytime you brightened my day...I'd be holding the galaxy in my hands

Can i get directions to you heart, I'm kinda lost in ur eyes

Why I say I am Sorry

2006-08-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down. -Ray Bradbury

I watched an interesting movie last night. It was basically a family drama story, but the point was the arguments between the father and son. It brought back a lot of feelings to me. I think in my life I have learned quite a bit, but one phrase got to me in the movie, it said that every boy grows into a man the moment his father dies.

My dad died when I was in the eighth grade, I still remember it like yesterday. Sometimes it plays over and over in my mind. The part I remember the most is that we were fighting really bad the night before. My dad was always sick when I was growing up, I understand that now, but then I didn't. It was really hard because I didn't get to say goodbye, or that I was sorry. Life is a gift that is borrowed, we never know what tomorrow will bring.

From that point I felt the need to help other people. Help them to see the heart and not other things. As some of you know this year has been really tough for me, and I have had to face a lot of realities. I find it hard to believe that some people have no regard for another persons life or feelings. One in particular….It is there I can feel it, there is a heart, but why do you hide it.

I don't want to ever regret not saying I'm sorry. I made the mistake once. I don't want to make it again.

Hope this finds everyone well.

Silence

2006-07-30T18:12:00.000-07:00

And then there was silence. I have gotten a lot of bad news from back home the last month, first my neighbor, then one of my friends parents and today my mom told me that a friend of mine from high school died. I remember him like it was yesterday. He was also really sort of goofy. When i was a freshmen he was a senior but i played on the varisty football team. He wasn't a good player in fact he never got to play unless we were very far ahead. But you know he was out there with us everyday of practice. He was really funny. He has two small children. It is one of these times that make me think. Life is a very precious gift. Don't delay what you can do today for tomorrow.
Peace my friend and God Speed.

I Swear

2006-07-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity". ~ Gilda Radner, 1946-1989

I really don't think i need to say more. But i hope this finds you well.

"If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear the pain of loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater." ~ Tanis HalfElven from the Dragonlance saga

Friday

2006-07-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

I have used this before. But it just felt right today. You can stop and look at the rainbow or you can move ahead. But the rainbow may not wait. When things get really really complicated, things get tangled what do you want....You can live life for tomorrow or you can choose to live today.

After awhile you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much so you plant your
own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn...

Veronica A. Shoffstall

2006-07-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

"The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world Without ever telling those you loved that you love them." - Author Unknown

Fading

2006-07-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

Questions, thoughts, in the end i think everyone just wants to feel loved. I wish it were easier but it isn't. Again, can a fairy tale survive in a world that values materials more than the heart. And the light grows dim.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity". ~ Gilda Radner, 1946-1989

2006-07-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

A friend sent this to me and i had to share. I really am not sad more complexed by the questions which i have asked. A lot of thinking...to do

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves...
Do not now seek the answers,
which cannot be given to you because you will not be able to live them.And the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will then gradually,
without noticing it,
live along some distant day into the answer.
Rainer Maria Rilke

well this is the qoute from friend i thought was great

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
- Helen Keller

2006-07-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

The four hardest tasks on earth are neither physical nor intellectual feats, but spiritual ones: To return love for hate; to include the excluded; to forgive without apology, and to be able to say 'I was wrong.'

I began this page/blog with a very simple question. Does true love really exist. I don't know the answer to that. What I have learned since i asked that question is that life is a very funny thing. People come, people go. Those who were close turn out to not be who you thought they were and in the end you have to ask them and yourself. The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart. I don't know how many times i have had this conversation. But in the end is it love or just not wanting to be alone....

2006-07-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

A friend sent this to me. I think it is really a great song. In a way it is what i am thinking. What do you do when the world around you is a lie? Sometimes I wish life was fairy tale story.

In the end I like this qoute it is so true...

"The heart has its reasons which reason does not know."- Blaise Pascal

Life is a funny thing

2006-07-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

"Do you love me because I am beautiful,
or am I beautiful because you love me?"
~Cinderella~

It is funny how in the period of one day life can change again. It is so crazy. How in the period of one day everything that you hid in your heart is back again. For some reason the sun rise seemed a little bit brighter today and the stars last night were singing...

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Flying Without Wings

2006-06-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

Life is a funny thing, I don't know how many times i have said that. Angels and Dragons. Choices. Then one day in the period of a month things change. One day your this and that and then all of a sudden a hand from the past reaches through to grab you again. And all at once everything that you had put inside, that little place in your heart is torn open, not by choice. Is it a ghost, is it a whisper, is it my mind playing tricks, no it is the first, the one who started it all...The person who changed my entire life. I thought you were lost. But i guess it truly is never too late. Across the world i send this message to you. Better late than never. And the answer is yes i do.

It's not too late... the angel said.
Even though the world's a mess...
Even though you're not as young...
Even though you've made mistakes and have been afraid
It's not too late...
And then I saw the world through the angels' eyes...
I saw the colors I could paint
The bridges I could build
The lives that I could touch
The dreams that could still come true
And it became very clear to me...
That it's not too late.

Ron Atchison

2006-06-01T15:17:00.000-07:00

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer, 1875 - 1965

And the saga continues..... were does the point the heart and the mind decide which one wins....

2006-05-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

Dr. Kent M. Keith

The Reason

2006-05-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."- Edmund Burke

Glitter Graphics

2006-05-23T12:48:00.000-07:00

And in the end, it's not the years in your life
that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

May the music find you and reach beyond the stars....

2006-05-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

"Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.”

Joseph Campbell, 1904-1987

And while it takes courage to achieve greatness, it takes more courage to find fulfillment in being ordinary. For the joys that last have little relationship to achievement, to standing one step higher on the victory platform. What is the adventure in being ordinary? It is daring to love just for the pleasure of giving it away. It is venturing to give new life and to nurture it to maturity. It is working hard for the pure joy of being tired at the end of the day. It is caring and sharing and giving and loving…Marilyn Thomsen

God Speed my Friend

2006-05-15T11:16:00.000-07:00

I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.

Dawna Markova

Remember that my door will always be open if you need a friend. You have to do what will make you happy in life my friend. I hope that you find what you are looking for in California. Remember to live life with no regrets....you always have a friend here. This is for you...

2006-05-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

"Though no one can go back and make a new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end.” - Carl Bard

I had that dream again, standing on the edge, waiting wondering alone. Were one road ends another begins. Someone once said that my candle is burning at both ends tonight, It shall not last the night, but oh the light while it burns. On the edge i stand... now we decide to step off into the abyss or to turn back down the mountain. All i wanted was to feel again.....

When the night has been too lonely,
and the road has been too long,
and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong,
just remember,
in the winter,
far beneath the bitter snow,
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose.

From 'The Rose,' written by Amanda McBroom

2006-05-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. - Helen Keller

2006-05-02T13:37:00.000-07:00

"Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal."- Unknown

2006-04-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

"To hurt someone you know will forgive you is the unkindiest thing of all. "- Robert Brault

Hope you enjoy this video, my friend showed it to me. I bet you this makes it to the USA.

2006-04-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities.
Professor Dumbledore

2006-04-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

I have used this qoute before, but just felt like it applied today as does the song above...

"that was the first thing I had to learn about her, and maybe the hardest I've ever learned about anything--that she is her own, and what she gives me is of her choosing, and the more precious because of it. Sometimes a butterfly will come to sit in your open palm, but if you close your hand, one way or the other, it--and its choice to be there--are gone." - Barbara Hambly

A gift was presented, a gift of unconditional love, yet you never saw it. No matter how hard it was, being told your a lier, your have to character, your a bad person, your cocky, your fat, your stupid, i still stood beside you, with the hope that i could help to open up your heart. I think the greatess sadness of all is that you run from what you are and yet you blame everyone else but yourself. You will never be happy until you learn to accept yourself.

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about."- Dale Carnegie

2006-04-19T06:49:00.000-07:00

It's not too late... the angel said.
Even though the world's a mess...
Even though you're not as young...
Even though you've made mistakes and have been afraid
It's not too late...
And then I saw the world through the angels' eyes...
I saw the colors I could paint
The bridges I could build
The lives that I could touch
The dreams that could still come true
And it became very clear to me...
That it's not too late.

Ron Atchison

I think that the words above are very true it is never too late. To my Angel.

2006-04-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."- Norman Vincent Peale

This has been an interesting weekend. I don't know really how to say it. I have been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things. I told dragon that i was going to start going back to my old church. It really upset this person and they yelled fine do what you want. But you know in my heart i know it is the right thing. I think the hardest thing about life is that from time to time you do have to chose and that choice sometimes means letting go. The test begins now, did i really matter, can you let go so easily dragon. I always told you that i believed deep down inside you kept your heart locked away. I know you don't understand. But I don't want you out of my life, I just want you to walk beside me as my friend.

This weeked for the first time i pulled out my shield of faith, inscribed on the back is the qoute below. i find comfront in it....

"Be strong and courageous. do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" - Joshua 1:9b

So here is a song that i hope you enjoy

2006-04-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

What to do when the heart is torn in two. One telling you to fall, the other telling you to lead. Yet knowing what ever choice you make you risk it all....To the Angel and the Dragon....

"Though we can’t always see it at the time,
if we look upon events with some perspective,
we see things always happen for our best interests.
We are always being guided in a way
better than we know ourselves.”

Swami Satchidananda

2006-04-12T09:39:00.001-07:00

Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.

Rainer Maria Rilke

2006-04-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

2006-04-07T07:23:00.000-07:00

Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love,
time is eternity.

Henry Van Dyke

Sometimes what we find and what we seek are two different things. Even the piece of coal will one day be the sparkling diamond. Never forget that.....And to my Angel...oh how we danced...

2006-04-06T07:42:00.000-07:00

This goes out to my Angel...life is so funny isn't it. And who knows perhaps we will dance in the stars.

"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem."

David Carradine

Calling all Angels

2006-04-05T06:50:00.000-07:00

I don't really like the video but the song is really what I like. I just think it is very appropriate. When i was younger i use to have a nightmare of running through the woods and I would come to a cliff. It was nighttime and it seemed like i could reach up and touch the stars. But they were always just out of reach. Then i remember feeling very cold and very alone.

This is a call out to all the Angels. Those whose wings have been clipped, broken and battered. One day we will all remember how to fly.....

"The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire."

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

2006-04-03T06:45:00.000-07:00

"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good." - unknown

Final Countdown

2006-03-31T06:58:00.000-08:00

Every journey begins with a first step. For some that step is harder than others. To all of todays first steps God Speed my friends.

“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

-Guillaume Apollinaire

Life

2006-03-30T09:27:00.000-08:00

"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."- Swedish proverb

I think this says a lot. If have one of those weeks where your entire world seems to change. Not really a good change, but not really a bad change, but a change still. I think if i had to describe this week in words it would be "ai shitte imasu". Hope, paths are moving changing. sometimes creating your own wears you down.

My Angel were does the path lead. In the end the world really isn't that big. And as i always say its the same star that we both are wishing on.

I know i have used this one before but i just feel like i need to play it today.

To all thoughs whose paths are unclear....

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

2006-03-28T06:49:00.000-08:00

A friend sent me the video below.

For my friend always follow your heart no matter were that leads. Sometimes it hurts, but that is how we know we are alive. Life isn't going to give you your fairy tale story you have to create it.

Sometimes we reach paths, choices, It is so hard to leave one, to move on to the other. It is not fear, it is not rejection it is more the feeling of time lost. But in the end we must do what we must.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.

The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.- Ayn Rand

Strangers in the Night

2006-03-27T07:04:00.000-08:00

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin

Every once in a while i come across another. Someone who is strangely familiar, someone who understands, someone who carries the gift of empathy. It was actually refeshing and nice to talk to someone who completely understands. Strange but I actually look forward to our next conversation.

2006-03-24T07:12:00.000-08:00

"Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way."- Unknown

Just to let you know my Angel, I miss you. I am reminded that life is just a brief moment, but if you were a falling star for an instance you are the brightest out there. This is for you...

Angel

2006-03-22T06:30:00.000-08:00

Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

Todays blog goes out to an Angel, You know who you are. What can i say but that in my heart that i had protected for the last year, you managed to chip away a piece. I don't know how you feel but thanks for the thought and making me smile. You are an amazing person that managed to find a part of me that was lost. Like you always said, Good things happen to good people....So this goes out across stars. And yes we were wishing on the same one....

Blue Moon

2006-03-21T06:30:00.000-08:00

For all of those who are in pain and hurting on the inside...

Life is a funny thing. One day you are on the top of the world and the next your just doing your best to hang on. A lot of my friends out there are going through some tough stuff. Remember that this too shall pass. Love is a funny thing also. You meet someone, but you realize they are really out of your league. You fall in love, you fall out of it. But each time you lose a little piece of yourself. But you know for an instance you touched eternity and in the end that is what matters. So to all of you out there, love will carry you under its wings and protect you. peace....

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or
catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

Dawna Markova

2006-03-20T08:09:00.000-08:00

“We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another. ”

Luciano de Crescenzo

New Roads

2006-03-16T06:50:00.000-08:00

Life is very funny, i know i have said it before. Abraham Lincoln once wrote “And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.” I think there is a lot of wisdom in that. If you always afraid of the hurt the pain then you never take the leap. Sometimes the hurt and pain are just reminders that we are alive. things are changing for me. Love is a very interesting thing and sometimes you find it were you least expected it. Sometimes you know that you are walking to the pain, but you really just don't care because for the moment you are dancing. I think Henry Van Dyke was right when he said.

Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love,
time is eternity.

2006-03-15T05:53:00.000-08:00

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life
that count. It's the life in your years.”

Abraham Lincoln

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

Mother Teresa

No Regrets

2006-03-14T06:19:00.000-08:00

Life is a funny thing i have to say. No more is one door shut than another door opens. Paths with which we can take. The question is which to take, one secure and safe, the other filled with pitfalls and dangers....but i guess that is what makes the journey fun.

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."

Jack London

Had a Bad Day

2006-03-10T06:46:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot lately, every day now i feel more like myself, returning. Life is a funny thing. In the end we all have a purpose, a very unique purpose. Love is a very funny thing. One of my fav. qoutes is "Love doesn't make the world go around, it is what makes the ride worth it."....oh well. hope this finds you all well

People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.

St. Augustine, 354 430

2006-03-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

"The foolish person seeks happiness in the distance, the wise person grows it under his feet."- James Oppenheim

"That's the risk you take if you change: that people you've beeninvolved with won't like the new you. But other people who do will come along."- Lisa Alther

This one goes out to someone very special. You know who you are. Sometimes paths cross and things happen that are so amazing it couldn't have been by accident. We all meet for some reason. For an instance we travel the same road. I don't know if we will ever be on the same road again, but sometimes just an instance is enough to change us

2006-03-01T05:08:00.000-08:00

I know that i have used this one before but i think it fits well today. Sometimes i think you move forward three spaces just to be knocked back 5. Not sure why i keep doing this to myself. Oh well...

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."- Confucius

Monday Morn....

2006-02-27T05:31:00.000-08:00

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

2006-02-21T07:16:00.000-08:00

"Dreams are the touchstones of our character."- Henry David Thoreau

I hope that you all had a great weekend. Dr. Luke once wrote "For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost." Deep words from the past that apply so much to the future.

2006-02-15T05:39:00.000-08:00

"Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men."

- Zora Neale Hurston's novel "Their Eyes Were Watching God":

Happy Single Awareness Day

2006-02-14T05:02:00.003-08:00

Well it is V-Day. Hope this finds everyone well.

"What is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity."

- Helen Hayes

2006-02-13T05:23:00.000-08:00

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."-

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Monday Morn

2006-02-06T04:57:00.000-08:00

"Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less."-

Rabbi Julins Gordon

2006-02-03T05:01:00.000-08:00

"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say 'Why not?'"-

Robert Kennedy

2006-02-01T05:08:00.000-08:00

"A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on."-

John F. Kennedy

Heart

2006-01-31T04:58:00.000-08:00

There was a song that i use to listen to. The words of it go "The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart." It is amazing we can treat the mind for everything, but if the issue is the heart then what do you do? Valentines day is coming up. Of all the days of the year this is the worst for so many reasons. This year especially. In the end i guess it is true "The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart."

This is for all the lost loves, the cried tears, and the fallen stars. I know you are out there....Hear me....

Does anyone Believe

2006-01-27T22:31:00.000-08:00

I use to believe in fairytales? Maybe silly but does any still think that fairytale love is still alive today. Have we forgotten to imagine and believe. I think the greatest tragedy of all is to forget to dream.

Morn

2006-01-25T05:17:00.000-08:00

Well i have been traveling this week. I have to go to two differnt cities the next two days. Really not looking forward to it. I wonder.....Two great words, i wish more people wondered. Where did we lose the magic of it all...

Calling all Angels

2006-01-23T05:03:00.000-08:00

I need a sign to let me know you’re here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
‘Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no
place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said
I need a
sign to let me know you’re here
‘Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me
And I’m
calling all angelsI’m calling all you angels - Train
Well the last couple of weeks have been interesting. I am doing much much better, yet my heart still betrays me. Deep down inside i am falling again, though i know that i am just going to get hurt again. It is interesting how that works, the mind and heart. Anyway, I hope that this finds you all well and that you are doing great. Sometimes we are asking the wrong question, even though the answer is sitting right in front of us. Peace out.

In some ways i think this song fits me very well.

2006-01-18T05:18:00.000-08:00

You know a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows.
And a dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes.
Trying to learn from what's behind you and never knowing what's in store
makes each day a constant battle just to stay between the shores.
And I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.Like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky.
I'll never reach my destination if I never try,
So I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.
Too many times we stand aside and let the water slip away.
To what we put off 'til tomorrow has now become today.
So don't you sit upon the shore and say you're satisfied.
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tides.
-Garth Brooks

This is were i work by the way, just a normal day at the office.

2006-01-17T04:56:00.000-08:00

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get."
- Anonymous

Strange Weekend

2006-01-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

So i don't have to work today but my friend called and woke me up at like 5ish this morning. So i am just going to go work out. But a really strange weekend. I reconnected with two lost friends this weekend. One i haven't seen in 6 years the other one 10 years. It was crazy...Every day is better and better...we are learning, we are changing, we are growing. This is our life, this is who we are...

Hope you enjoy this

TGIF

2006-01-13T04:56:00.000-08:00

I have to come to work early every morning. But sometimes i get to see something very special. This morning the moon was almost full, It was a beautiful site. And then i am beginning to see sunrise. So against the darkness of the night is that bright white moon and on the other side is show of bright reds, yellows, purples etc. that is the sunrise. It is one of those moments were you just go WOW.

I hope that this finds you all well.

"To Where you are"
Josh Groban

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me
From up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on
And never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Great Words

2006-01-12T09:41:00.000-08:00

We are one - Lion King

As you go through life you'll see
There is so much that we
Don't understand

And the only thing we know
Is things don't always go
The way we planned

But you'll see every day
That we'll never turn away
When it seems all your dreams come undone

We will stand by your side
Filled with hope and filled with pride
We are more than we are
We are one

If there's so much I must be
Can I still just be me
The way I am?

Can I trust in my own heart
Or am I just one part
Of some big plan?

Even those who are gone
Are with us as we go on
Your journey has only begun

Tears of pain, tears of joy
One thing nothing can destroy
Is our pride, deep inside
We are one

We are one, you and I
We are like the earth and sky
One family under the sun

All the wisdom to lead
All the courage that you need
You will find when you see
We are one

2006-01-12T07:43:00.000-08:00

Yeah i get to fly in a jet today. Should be fun. This is the second time in the last two months that i have gotten to take the jet out. I fly in for like a 45 minute meeting and fly back. Crazy but fun.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."-
Martin Luther King, Jr.

2006-01-11T05:00:00.000-08:00

"Isn't faith beliving in power you can't see"

Groban

2006-01-10T05:13:00.000-08:00

"It is the mind that maketh good or ill, that maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor."

- Edmund Spenser

"Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly."-

Robert F. Kennedy

Yeah

2006-01-09T17:54:00.000-08:00

Well it is another day....Almost...Going to be a busy one, but you know each day is a step toward to the future. Each day is getting better. I feel more my self. so i was dancing to this video tonight. Hope you like it. really like the back beats. So i really like to dance though i can't. But you know it is a blast....so do this dance the night away.
Why not in the streets????Peace out....

Time

2006-01-09T05:35:00.000-08:00

"You will never "find" time for anything. If you want time you must make it."- Charles Buxton

Had a really good weekend, other than insomnia one night, but still a really great weekend. Every week is a step in the right direction. Hope everyone is doing well.

National Champs

2006-01-05T04:50:00.000-08:00

Ok so a little change in direction. But Congrats to UT on the National Championship. It was an exciting game all the way to the end. The Tower all in orange looked very cool this morning.

"Peter How do we get to neverland" -Wendy

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."- Confucius

Back Again

2006-01-04T05:03:00.000-08:00

Well i am back from my adventures in New York. It was one of those trips that i was glad i went, but so happy to be home. Got to see the ball drop in Time Square it was very cool. Over all the trip was very trying, but i am glad i went and had a great time. I have a lot of respect for anyone that can live in New York. Just not my cup of tea i guess.

For some reason have this song stuck in my head...

New Year

2005-12-30T10:25:00.000-08:00

Greetings Family and Friends,

To all my friends around the world from the palace in Baghdad (very cool pics by the way), Germany, El Salvador, Canada, Japan, Taiwan, across the US and to the four corners… I just wanted to wish everyone a very happy new year. I began this year with this quote:

"May I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A guide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need."

I think it is a challenge that each of us must remember. I know that this year has been one of challenge for me. If I had to pick a theme for this year it would be change. For some it meant new love, for others change meant leaving, still some a new baby, a new job, etc. I would just like to take this moment to say thank you to all of you for being there. I know that the road has been long, the hills steep, but each of you have touched me in a very special way. I think back to the old friends, the new ones, to those that we said goodbye too for the last time. When I think of 2005 I have to ask myself at what cost did I get here today and hope that my purpose was clear. I look to 2006 with hope, knowing that I leave 2005 a changed person. I hope that it was for the best. Marie Ray said "We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand...
and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late."

So with hope we look to the future, remembering the past and never forgetting those that walked this road before us. Never forgotten…Have a safe and happy new year.

We cannot change the direction of the wind but we can adjust our sails - unknown.

Heart

2005-12-30T04:51:00.000-08:00

As most of you have figured out, i like to put things or feelings in qoutes or express them through songs. New Years is coming up and I am looking forward to a fresh start with things. Will post my new years thought a little later on. but for now here you are

You'll be in My Heart - Phil Collins

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
The way we feel
They just don't trust
What they can't explain
I know we're different but,
Deep in side us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
To have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know
When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always
Always

Word

2005-12-28T13:45:00.000-08:00

Welcome back everyone

Josh Groban
Blieve

Children sleeping
snow is softly falling.
Dreams are calling
like bells in the distance.

We were dreamers not so long ago.
But one by one we all had to grow up.

When it seems the magic slipped away,
we find it all again on Christmas day...

Believe in what your heart is saying,
hear the melody that's playing.
There's no time to waste,
there's so much to celebrate.

Believe in what you feel inside,
And give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need,
If you just believe.

Trains move quickly to their journey's end.
Destinations are we begin again.
Ships go sailing far across the sea.
Trust in starlight, to get where they need to be.

When it seems that we have lost our way,
we find ourselves again on Christmas day...

Believe in what your heart is saying,
hear the melody that's playing.
There's no time to waste,
there's so much to celebrate.

Believe in what you feel inside,
And give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need,
If you just believe.

If you just believe.
If you just believe.
If you just believe.
Just believe.
Just believe

Thought for the Holiday

2005-12-23T04:50:00.000-08:00

Well I head home tonight and will not have internet until Tuesday. Yes i live out in the middle of no where. I just wanted to wish every one a happy holiday and to pass this thought along. For everone spending this season with that special someone enjoy every moment of it and never forget what you have. For those who are spending it alone, remembering those who have come and gone...there is someone out there who is thinking of you, whether it be a world apart. The essence of the holidays is love. Never forget that. Happy holidays my friends

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past,
courage for the present, hope for the future.
It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow
with blessings rich and eternal, and that every
path may lead to peace.
~Agnes M. Pharo

here is a song that I hope you like

2005-12-22T05:20:00.000-08:00

We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand...
and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.
-Marie Beynon Ray

I got this qoute from one of my friends. I think it is a great qoute. It is so true in so many ways. And by the way my friend last night blew rice and veggies out his noise, sorry told him i was going to blog it. It made me laugh. He told me it was talent, I told him it was gross...

Tomorrow i will post my Christmas thought but for today here is another video. Love these things. I posted the lyics to this one a couple of weeks ago. I think in a lot of ways it is how i feel. I hope that you enjoy.

2005-12-21T07:28:00.000-08:00

Love these three thought i would share them

I love Gorie she is so cool

This is one of my friends favs...

and i like this one...

The Cliff

2005-12-21T04:49:00.000-08:00

"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."- Mahatma Gandhi

Had a strange dream last night. I was standing on a cliff, over looking the ocean. The stars seemed as if they were fireflies dancing around my head. It is windy and cold. I stand by myself, yet I can't help but feel as if i wasn't. I hate it when you have dreams that seem so familar. I have been to this place before, but just can't remember all of it. It is always the same standing alone on the cliff. "Dreams are things that take us far from familar shores, test the heart and try the soul."

To my friend half way around the world this qoute is for you, thanks for listening...

Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. - unknown

2005-12-20T04:58:00.000-08:00

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for.
-Epicurus

I am still learning this lesson....

I saw this earlier today and thought wow this is great here you go...

Love doesn't have a happy ending, true love should never have an ending...

2005-12-19T07:02:00.000-08:00

TESTIFY TO LOVE by Avalon
All the colors of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify
For as long as I shall live I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
With every breath I take I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live I will testify to love
From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every stop to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart will speak what love has done

Random Thoughts

2005-12-19T04:51:00.000-08:00

"Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't."- Richard Bach

Strange weekend...Did see King Kong though. It was a good movie just about an hour too long. Went Christmas shopping, I don't really know...

Thinking

2005-12-16T11:08:00.000-08:00

I really can't concentrate at work today. I just keep thinking. It is like you want to love so much that it hurts. If that makes sense, i am not even sure if it does. Your heart is just over flowing with the need to give. It is hard to put in words. I have been looking back over my life the last couple of weeks also. The good the bad, where i have been, where should i go. i keep coming back to this...Someone once said that you have to remember that today you stand in the darkness, but don't despair, that is the only way you can see the stars.

I look out at the moon and stars and think that somewhere out there someone else is thinking the same thing. A thought that crosses the boundaries of space and time....

Dreams

2005-12-16T05:07:00.000-08:00

You know a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows.
And a dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes.
Trying to learn from what's behind you and never knowing what's in storemakes each day a constant battle just to stay between the shores.
And I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.
Like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky.
I'll never reach my destination if I never try,So I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.
Too many times we stand aside and let the water slip away.
To what we put off 'til tomorrow has now become today.
So don't you sit upon the shore and say you're satisfied.Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tides. -Garth Brooks

2005-12-15T05:10:00.000-08:00

"Don't walk behind me I will not lead, don't walk in front of me I will not follow, just walk beside me and be my friend."- Unknown

I know this sounds very strange, but are there other people out there who connect with people on a very emtional and mental level. I mean you walk up and met someone and before you know it they are crying or they are telling there lifes deepest darkest secrets, or everyone says i just feel so comfrontable being around you. You are a helper, a guider, a true friend who offers a gift that not many will, unconditional love. No matter what they do to you, you will always put them and others first, above yourself. The funny thing is that it is just not being a friend it is true empathy for what is going on in their lives.

I call it a curse in a way. People cross your path and into your life when ever they need help or a leg to stand on. For whatever amount of time you give unconditional till they are ready to fly again.

What this does to love is you always get to the pharse "you are a great guy, but let's just be friends"

Any thoughts????

2005-12-14T05:22:00.000-08:00

Love is sometimes denied, sometimes lost, sometimes unrecognized, but in the end, always found with no regrets, forever valued and kept treasured. - unknown

2005-12-13T04:46:00.000-08:00

"The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world Without ever telling those you loved that you love them." - Author Unknown

Where Are You Christmas
Faith Hill
Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play
My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too
Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go
Christmas is here
Everywhere, ohChristmas is here
If you care, oh
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time
I feel you ChristmasI know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here in silence
Fills each and every heart with love
Where are you Christmas
Fills your heart with love

True Love

2005-12-11T16:57:00.000-08:00

So I have a question is there such a thing as true love?

2005-12-06T05:10:00.000-08:00

I think the following says it all. It is a qoute about the way i feel right now.

Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
in Sandman: The Kindly Ones by Neil Gaiman